Christmas xx

M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S

Have a lovely Christmas and enjoy it.Enjoy the rest of your day and I wish you good night.

Love From Meera xx

I am feeling....

Feeling so low , just want to curl up in bed. Thinking about how bad it has got with me this year. Scared of January my first anniversary when I first told my school counsellor that I was hearing voices and was suicidal.

Love from Meera xx

Fundraising for mind mental health charity

Hey everyone,

In February 2014 I will be fundraising for mind with my few close friends and few family members. Mind is a mental health charity. I am fundraising mind because I suffer from mental health disorder. Me and my friends and family will be walking from harrow to the mind  head office which is in Stratford. I would be extremely grateful if you can all visit my just giving page and donate. 
http://www.justgiving.com/MGOHMENTALHEALTH

Love from MEERA xx

RecoverYourLife

Hey everyone,

It's been a year since I signed on to the amazing website RYL! I have so much support from RYL. I  have so many nice, supportive friends on RYL.

Love From MEERA Xx

Feeling lost ,no support network, miss my old form tutor

I feel soo lost. I miss my form tutor from my old school - she doesn't teach there anymore but she was my form tutor in year 10 and year 11. Whenever I was feeling suicidal, depressed or wanting to self harm I always went to my form tutor and she would talk to me and she liaised with the inclusion team like whenever I was too depressed to go to class she would get someone to cover her lesson while she phoned the inclusion office to come and get me.

But now in my new school my form tutor ups helpful but not as helpful as my old form tutor. :-(

Love from MEERA xx

Mental health

Hello everyone,

My mental health has not been great recently. I keep hearing voices . I need to self harm because the voices have been bothering me all night and they keep telling me to self harm. Hopefully I will have the strength to not self harm at all today.
Enjoy the rest of the day.
Love from MEERA xx

Please compliment someone who you know has a mental health condition as it will make their day. 

Relapse

Hey everyone,

Just as I thought I was doing well I end up relapsing. I OD. This path to recovery is long. I need strength to fight the self harm. I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life.

Love from MEERA xx

Think of others before yourself :)

Summer Holiday and self harm campaign

Hey everyone,

I am sorry for not posting for quite a while but I have been really busy this summer. It has been a rollercoaster.

I have been part of The Challenge Network. My team , team sabesan wave 8 HEAL 8 from the challenge network are doing a campaign to raise awareness for self harm. We have a Facebook page and my group and I would be really grateful if you could read our facebook page and also like our Facebook page.

Our FACEBOOK page is:  https://www.facebook.com/NoHarmLondon



Thank you for reading this.


Have a lovely evening wherever you are.

Love From MEERA xx

Meh

Hey everyone ,

Feeling awful today. Too depressed to do anything. Saw my physchiatrist today - she said that she will think about upping the dosage of fluoxtine to 40mg as I have been extremely suicidal and depressed.

I have an eating disorder - I have been starving myself for 5months. :(

A big thanks to RYL , my family , my best friend, my form tutor( she wants to keep in touch with me even when I go to college as she wants to know how my mental. health is as she has been extremely helpful because I went to her anytime during the school day if I was feeling suicidal or depressed while at school.


Love from MEERA xx 

BBC 3 - Don't Call Me Crazy

Hello guys,

There is a programme on BBC 3 called Don't Call Me Crazy- it is about teenagers who suffer from mental health. I found it triggering but luckily I managed to watch the whole episode. 

The programme made me remember when I was in hospital in February after a large overdose and had to have a psychiatrist watching me all night to make sure I didn't overdose again.

Love from MEERA xx

Failure

Hey everyone ,

I feel like a massive failure every time I overdose and cut. I feel guilty asking for help. Is it too much to ask to be a happy teenager. I don't want to be a self harmer for the rest of my life. I don't want to be suicidal or have depression for the rest of my life.

Love from MEERA xx

WOW!

Hey everyone ,

I have been extremely down after overdosing about 3 times the past week. 

How incredibly sad for me as a 15year old to end up overdosing 5 times in 4 months - less than half the year has gone , and people in my school think self harm is just for people who are 'emo' 


Love from MEERA xx


P.S. I want to get better, I don't want to spend the rest of my life overdosing.

OD

Hey guys,

Just wanted to let you know that I have been having a really tough week and have been overdosing nearly every single day. 

My leg and arm feels extremely weak and numb.


Love from MEERA xx

P.S . I want to be a happy teenager , I don't want to keep self harming for the rest of my life. 

GCSEs

Hey Everyone, 

Urgh,

GCSE revision and the thoughts of the exams/ study leave staring in May is making my anxiety and stress levels extremely high - this soooo hard to deal with as I already suffer from extremely high anxiety/ panic attacks and extremely high stress levels.

Just the thought of GCSE exams and GCSE revision is making me have unresistable urges to cut and to overdose.

Making my depression so hard to deal with.

Just want the world to stop , so I can get of.
On the verge of breaking down.

I can't handle the anxiety of GCSEs.

Love From Meera xx 

Current Mental Health - Sever depression, SAD,Self harm, Suicide thoughts and voices in my head.

 

Overdose :(

Hi guys, 

I had a bad evening today. I ended  overdosing on "cod liver oil- 1000mg per capsule and took 16 of them. My left leg is feeling like I pulled a muscle since the overdose. 

Any kind comments is much appreciated. 


Love from MEERA xx

OD Symptoms

Hey everyone,

I have been getting symptoms of overdose , as I ended up overdosing last Tuesday.

I have lost my feelings in my legs. Also I have a high temperature but shivering. I have lost my appetite and feeling extremely weak.


Love from MEERA xx

Weak

Hi guys,

Feeling terribly weak - the voices have been controlling me everyday this week and last week. Feel like a failure.
Need help to stop having voices. I have had a bad week at school - having very low moods, and taking it out on my form tutor. 

My doctor told me that I will have high and low days while on the anti depressants- he is definitely correct about that.

Love from MEERA xx


P.S. I hope that I can have the courage to fight the voices and not give in to the voices to easily as I do not want to self harm the rest of life- I want to be happy again and not have depression for the rest of my life. 

Oh Noooooooooooo ...........

Hey guys,

Sorry for the extremely late post but I have been really down and have been feeling sick, literally I have lost my appetite to eat any food. Today was not good for me. 

During assembly today two sixth formers came to talk about depression, suicide etc... 
I felt really down when listening to the assembly because it made me remember that I have had to go to hospital in January and February because of feeling suicidal, depressed and over dose. 

At lunchtime I had enough of the voices, they kept telling me to overdose , so  ended up overdosing on quite a few tablets. At the moment my legs are aching, am feeling rather lethargic and can hardly move my legs because of the over dose on too many pain killers. 

 I do not want to be depressed, I want to be a happy smiley teenager. 

Love From Meera xx  

SIAD 2013 XX

 Self Injury Awareness Day

Hey everyone, 

Today is 1st March 2013. Many of you would know it is St David's day today. Also of course as it is 1st of the month so many of might have done the game"pinch, punch, first of the month."

Anyway , some of you may/ may not know that today is SIAD(Self Injury Awareness Day). I wanted to post this as I have been through a lot of tough time and still trying to recover from Self Injury. 

My Journey:

Last year in 2012 and also in 2011  when I was in Year 10, I kept getting cyber bullied up until May 2012. The cyber bullying was horrendous and the emails were very abusive saying that I should not be alive etc. 

So anyway since May 2012 when the cyber bullying stopped, I kept on having and hearing this man voice in my head. The voice was telling me to cut my wrists to release all the evil from me. 

Since May last year I kept listening to the voices and kept cutting my wrists thinking that if I do what the voices tell me to do then the voices would hopefully stop , BUT NO I WAS WRONG- VERY WRONG. 

The voices kept getting louder. One day at school (round about end of May) I made a disclosure to one of the teaching assistant that I self harm. Luckily the school managed to get me referred to CAMHS regarding my self harm issues. 

In October 2012, after months of CBT(Cognitive Behavior Therapy) at CAMHS, they decided to close my case at CAMHS - meaning that I was discharged from CAMHS. By then I thought that I really needed to tell someone about the voices in my head as they were contrilling me and I was powerless. 

So I told my school counselor about the voices, then the school referred me back to CAMHS. I managed to get an appointment with CAMHS and they gave me more appointments.

 January and February this year were so tough for me, that I couldn't keep myself safe. The voices were extremely loud and controlling me. In January I was admitted to hospital for cutting and for being suicidal. I was kept in hospital for one day and then the next day CAMHS started to closely monitor me. I saw one of the top psychiatrist at CAMHS who put me on anti depressants for about 6 months. Again not so long ago in February I was admitted to hospital for overdosing on too many tablets, was just in hospital for one night where they did an ECG on my heart and a psychiatrist watched me all night.

Hopefully with the help of my lovely amazing family(parents, brother + extended family),anti depressants, CAMHS ,the school, my friends and of course my friends on  RYL(Recover Your Life) that i will fully recover from self harm: cutting and overdosing.

Love From Meera xx



P.S. Have a very happy SIAD and think of those people who suffer from self harm. Before you self harm think of all those people who are less fortunate than you. 

          

Even more pain......

Hey guys,

I feel absolutely terrible since my OD- ended up OD today as the voices were so loud and threatening me so much.

Today during PE we were learning about first aid and one of the things we learnt was about burns- I felt really upset and extremely triggered by learning about burns because burns- is a type of self harm and that reminded me that I am a failure for not recovering/ stopping from self harm.

Love from MEERA xx

Pain .............

Hey everyone,

Sorry for not posting for the last couple of days. I have been going through a rough time. 

After overdosing on 20 tablets I was feeling extremely sick, weak, had lost my appetite, my body/mind and head were all aching. My heart beat was faster than normal after overdosing. I feel terrible and extremely guilty because the voices in my head are controlling me- I have no power to stop them or to fight the urges to OD.

Oh no , I have school tomorrow - first day back after half-term , feeling physically weak since the OD and I have PE tomorrow - really don't have the energy to do PE tomorrow.



Love from MEERA xx  

1 Step Forward , 2 Steps Backwards :(

Hi everyone,

Yesterday I had an extremely bad day. I kept hearing the over powering , strong voices in my head. The voices were telling me to overdose. I tried listening to my iPod to drown out the voices but the voices just kept getting louder and louder until I thought my head was going to explode. 

I ended up overdosing but because I didn't overdose on the amount of tablets which the voices were telling me (80) , I only overdosed on (20) tablets, so the voices have been threatening me ever since yesterday. I could not get to sleep at all last night, the voices were just too much for me.

Love from MEERA xx

Self injury achievement xx

Hi everyone,

Today my day has been peaceful. In the morning I did my English homework. Then I went on RYL(Recover Your Life)  to talk to my friend Amy - that was nice as Amy has been supporting me ever since I told her all my problems. 

Later in the day I got some extremely strong urges to self harm (to overdose) but luckily I took my mind of it by going for a long walk in the park with my mum. This was a massive step for me because I normally find it hard to take my mind of the extremely strong urges to self harm.

Hopefully I will be able to more often take my mind of the urges to self harm.

Love from Meera xx


"Every winner has scars." 

Self Injury, Server Depression, Low Moods and voices

Hello guys,

I have made this blog because I suffer from server depression, low moods, over powering voices in my head which tell me to self harm and I self harm.   I am trying extremely hard in order to fully recover. On this blog I will post how my recovery is and how my day/ week has been. Also I will tell you whether I have been trying to beat the over powering voices in my head which tell me self harm. 

Love from Meera xx

P.S. I hope you enjoy reading my blog and follow my blog to see how I am doing with recovering from server depression, self harm and also the over powering voices in my head which tell me to self harm. 

SIAD - 1st March 2013

SIAD - Self Injury Awareness Day -1st March 

Hi everyone , 

As you are aware 1st March 2013 is very close as it is nearly the end of February. Every year on 1st March it is SIAD. On this day and the days leading up to it some self hammers might choose to be more open about their self harm. Awareness organizations make special effort to raise awareness about self harm/self injury. 

What is self injury?

 Self injury means that you harm your own self. Some people who self harm may:

• Take too many tablets (an overdose)
• Cutting yourself
• Burning yourself
• Punching yourself
• Bang your head against something hard

Why do some people self injure?

Well many people keep asking me this question "why do you self injure?" A person normally struggles with difficulties for some times before they self harm.  These are the reasons why people might self injure:

• Feeling depressed
• Physical or sexual abuse
• Feeling hopeless
• Feeling isolated and alone
• Feeling powerless - feels as though there is nothing you can do to change anything
• To express their distress feelings
• To relive tension 

Who self harms?

Few of my friends think I self harm for attention seeking but I do not self harm for attention seeking. PEOPLE WHO SELF HARM ARE NOT ATTENTION SEEKERS! Self harm happens more in:

• Young women
• Prisoners
• Gay, lesbian and bisexual people - this seems , at least a part, due to the stress of discrimination  and prejudice
• Having a friend who self harms may increase the chance of self harming as a self harder might be influenced by their friend
• People who have been bullied 
• People who have been physically, emotionally or sexually abused in the past during their childhood 

Common signs of self harm -

People who self injure tend to normally hide their self harm scars. They also tend to injure themselves in places that can be easily hidden by clothes. If you suspect a friend or a relative self injures then look out for the following signs of self harm.These are the common signs of self harm: 

• Unexplained bruises , cuts or cigarette burns - usually on their wrists , arms, thighs and chest
• Keeping themselves fully covered at all times even during hot weather
• Sign of depression - low moods, tearfulness, lack of motivation and lack of interest in anything
• Sign of low self -esteem - blaming themselves for any problems or thinking they are not good enough
• Changes in eating habits 

Getting help -

If you self injure or know someone who does,then please reach out for help. Most people who self harm don't ask for help. Why not? You might be aware that you have some serious problems , but don't feel you can talk to anyone- so you don't talk about it. People will not judge you differently if you tell them that you self harm. Tell someone close to you it could be your parents, sibling or even a best friend - you will only get help if you tell someone close that you self harm. If you find it hard to speak to someone that you self harm then maybe write it down on a piece of paper and give it to the person who you want to tell.

Some useful websites and phone numbers for self help -

• Childline - Free national helpline for young people, free confidential advice on all sorts of problems: 0800 1111
• Samaritans - Telephone and email support for anyone who is worried, upset or suicidal: 08457 90  90 90; ROI 1850  60 90 90. Email: jo@samaritans.org
• The Silent Cry - A charity to help people to deal with self harm whether a sufferer, relative or partner.

Self harm is not an attempt of suicide but if you do self harm, you are at a greater risk of killing yourself than people who don't self harm.

Ways to reduce the urge to self harm -

These are some of the following ways which can reduce the temptation to self harm. If you feel like self harming then try reducing the urges by:

• Squeezing a stress ball in your hand
• Screaming really loud
• Sleeping 
• Listening to music
• Talking to someone
• Having a cold shower
• Scribbling on a piece of paper
• Drawing a butterfly where you want to self harm - The Butterfly Project
• Throwing ice

Please if you self harm , tell yourself you are worth more than the self harm.

Thank you for reading this post and I wish you a brilliant day wherever you are 

xx

HAVE FAITH, BE BRAVE, BE HAPPY ! XX