OD Symptoms

Hey everyone,

I have been getting symptoms of overdose , as I ended up overdosing last Tuesday.

I have lost my feelings in my legs. Also I have a high temperature but shivering. I have lost my appetite and feeling extremely weak.


Love from MEERA xx

Weak

Hi guys,

Feeling terribly weak - the voices have been controlling me everyday this week and last week. Feel like a failure.
Need help to stop having voices. I have had a bad week at school - having very low moods, and taking it out on my form tutor. 

My doctor told me that I will have high and low days while on the anti depressants- he is definitely correct about that.

Love from MEERA xx


P.S. I hope that I can have the courage to fight the voices and not give in to the voices to easily as I do not want to self harm the rest of life- I want to be happy again and not have depression for the rest of my life. 

Oh Noooooooooooo ...........

Hey guys,

Sorry for the extremely late post but I have been really down and have been feeling sick, literally I have lost my appetite to eat any food. Today was not good for me. 

During assembly today two sixth formers came to talk about depression, suicide etc... 
I felt really down when listening to the assembly because it made me remember that I have had to go to hospital in January and February because of feeling suicidal, depressed and over dose. 

At lunchtime I had enough of the voices, they kept telling me to overdose , so  ended up overdosing on quite a few tablets. At the moment my legs are aching, am feeling rather lethargic and can hardly move my legs because of the over dose on too many pain killers. 

 I do not want to be depressed, I want to be a happy smiley teenager. 

Love From Meera xx  

SIAD 2013 XX

 Self Injury Awareness Day

Hey everyone, 

Today is 1st March 2013. Many of you would know it is St David's day today. Also of course as it is 1st of the month so many of might have done the game"pinch, punch, first of the month."

Anyway , some of you may/ may not know that today is SIAD(Self Injury Awareness Day). I wanted to post this as I have been through a lot of tough time and still trying to recover from Self Injury. 

My Journey:

Last year in 2012 and also in 2011  when I was in Year 10, I kept getting cyber bullied up until May 2012. The cyber bullying was horrendous and the emails were very abusive saying that I should not be alive etc. 

So anyway since May 2012 when the cyber bullying stopped, I kept on having and hearing this man voice in my head. The voice was telling me to cut my wrists to release all the evil from me. 

Since May last year I kept listening to the voices and kept cutting my wrists thinking that if I do what the voices tell me to do then the voices would hopefully stop , BUT NO I WAS WRONG- VERY WRONG. 

The voices kept getting louder. One day at school (round about end of May) I made a disclosure to one of the teaching assistant that I self harm. Luckily the school managed to get me referred to CAMHS regarding my self harm issues. 

In October 2012, after months of CBT(Cognitive Behavior Therapy) at CAMHS, they decided to close my case at CAMHS - meaning that I was discharged from CAMHS. By then I thought that I really needed to tell someone about the voices in my head as they were contrilling me and I was powerless. 

So I told my school counselor about the voices, then the school referred me back to CAMHS. I managed to get an appointment with CAMHS and they gave me more appointments.

 January and February this year were so tough for me, that I couldn't keep myself safe. The voices were extremely loud and controlling me. In January I was admitted to hospital for cutting and for being suicidal. I was kept in hospital for one day and then the next day CAMHS started to closely monitor me. I saw one of the top psychiatrist at CAMHS who put me on anti depressants for about 6 months. Again not so long ago in February I was admitted to hospital for overdosing on too many tablets, was just in hospital for one night where they did an ECG on my heart and a psychiatrist watched me all night.

Hopefully with the help of my lovely amazing family(parents, brother + extended family),anti depressants, CAMHS ,the school, my friends and of course my friends on  RYL(Recover Your Life) that i will fully recover from self harm: cutting and overdosing.

Love From Meera xx



P.S. Have a very happy SIAD and think of those people who suffer from self harm. Before you self harm think of all those people who are less fortunate than you.